Monday, March 29, 2010

Jeepers Peepers

It happens overnight. One day you'll be reading the small print on the side of a prescription bottle and the next day you'll have to push the cereal box 6-inches behind from your bowl to read the cartoon on the back. Chances are you just turned 40. You need reading glasses.

Reading glasses work in 99% of the situations where you need to see something close up. They help you read the newspaper, the map, even the remote control. But, as I mentioned in earlier blogs, reading glasses get in the way when you are trying to see anything on or around your eyes.

For example, putting on false eyelashes is impossible to do while wearing reading glasses. Cutting your bangs also poses problems. Even applying mascara can be troublesome.

I have researched options for this conundrum. It is my pleasure to share with you what I've learned.

The first option is to use one of those magnifying mirrors commonly found in hotel rooms that pull out from the bathroom wall. You know the kind...similar to electron microscopes, zooming in on every pore, wrinkle and nano-cell on your face. You will certainly be able to see your eyes clearly.

However, I would be remiss in pointing out the associated risks of these mirrors. A couple years ago I accidentally looked in one while staying in a hotel. It took 3 glasses of wine and a Tylenol PM to fall asleep after the trauma. And I dreamt I was Betty Davis for weeks.

The second option is a bit safer: The Peepers Makeup Gasses. Basically, the Peepers are glasses with just one lens, which is hinged in the middle and swivels from side to side so that eye makeup can be applied without injury. See?

And when you finish one eye, you simply swivel the lens to the other side and finish the job. (I suspect this was invented by the same person who came up with adhesive on the back of sanitary pads, but I'm not sure.)

There are risks associated with wearing Peepers. According to a product review, the Peepers are heavy and tend to fall off the front of the user's head.

I save the best option for last: The Sylvana Belle Eyes makeup glasses. According to the advertisements, they are lightweight, comfortable, and come in a protective pouch ideal for travel. And they cost only $48.95 a pair.

I'm sorry to say that these, too, are not without risk.

Someone might see you wearing them.

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