bang-bang

I noticed my friend Tiffany had a new haircut yesterday. When I complimented her she told me that she had cut it herself.

What? Shut the front door!

I simply can’t imagine how someone cuts her own hair. I have, on numerous occasions, rather unsuccessfully attempted to cut my own bangs. And they are on the front of my face….in fact, just above my eyes.

Tiffany cut hair on the opposite side of her face, and, unless she’s like my mom, she doesn’t have eyes on the back of her head.

(When I was a kid I once cut the hair on a Barbie doll. Ken would never forgive me.)

There are numerous challenges involved in cutting my own bangs. The first is finding the right equipment: the right scissors, comb, and, or course, duct tape.

While the kitchen scissors are definitely handy, the thought of using them on my hair is unappetizing – even for me. The pair of paper scissors with the round edges have the advantage of preventing me from cutting my eyeballs out, but aren’t particularly effective on hair. My extra sharp left-handed sewing scissors are perfect for the job.

I've learned from experience that my "afro comb" (as my husband calls it), does not work for cutting bangs, since its teeth are about ½ centimeter apart. A regular comb is perfect for the job.

As for the duct tape, I must confess I've never attempted the infamous bang cutting process involving taping your bangs to your face and cutting your bangs along the top of the tape. I see a couple potential problems with this methodology:

1. The duct tape may remove my eye brows
2. I'd end up looking like Moe from the 3 Stooges.

Of course the biggest, most insurmountable challenge is the whole mirror thing.

Moving towards my bangs from the side with my extra sharp left-handed sewing scissors is one thing. It's the front to back movement that gets me. When you move your hand closer to the image in the mirror, it’s actually moving farther away from the targeted bangs. I snip-snip-snip and either nothing falls from my bangs, or worse, I cut my eyeballs out.

So when Tiffany mentioned that she cut her own hair my chin about fell to the floor. And she cut layers...in the back of her head! If I tried to do that myself I’d need stitches and/or would have to wear a babushka for the next 6 months.

I'll stick to my bangs for now. Or better yet, I'll ask Tiffany to cut them.