Going Downhill Fast

Ladies.  Can we talk?

About a very annoying addition to the growing list of ways my body is falling apart changing as I age.

It’s called under-boob sweat.  Exacerbated by the endless string of 100+ degree days we have been enjoying in South Carolina.

Under-boob-sweat is new to me. 

And depressing.  My boobs used to be perky.  The never RESTED ON MY TORSO.

You know that old pencil trick?  Not that long ago I could place a pencil under my boobs and it would fall flat to the floor.

No longer true. 

In fact, who needs a pocket protector with these girls?  

They could hold multiple pencils and pens.

Even a curling iron.

Of course, I would never attempt such a trick, since all would be covered in sweat.  Within 10 minutes. 

My curling iron would be ruined.

I researched solutions to my condition and found that I am not alone in my suffering.  In fact, I was pleased to learn that there is a product available to help women suffering from under-boob-sweat: boob deodorant.

I ordered a tube of Fresh Body boob deodorant on Amazon.com.  It will arrive on Monday, which means only two more days of sweaty boobs.  

Then I started thinking.  What's next?  I have barely recovered from hot flashes.  Now I've got under-boob-sweat.

What if my next big thing is elbow-pit-sweat?  I've recently noticed the insides of my arms getting moist when I step foot outdoors in this sauna of a state we call South Carolina.  What if my elbow-pit sweating gets worse?

I can't stress about it.  I guess if they sell under-boob deodorant, they probably sell elbow-pit deodorant.

I'll worry about elbow-pit-sweat if and when it becomes a problem for me.

When I placed the under-boob deodorant in my shopping cart, Amazon suggested that I also consider purchasing Lady Anti-Monkey Butt Anti-Friction Powder.

OMG.  Is that what’s next? 

I don't care if there is a product available.

Monkey Butt will push me over the edge.  

I'll take under-boob sweat any day.