I'm fine with that. I'll honor their
So. Um. This post is not about Kimmy and Luke. It has nothing to do with them.
This is simply a post with advice in case any of my readers travel to France.
Not all French people are enamored with American tourists. Many expect them to know their language.
- Learn one or two French words before your meal. Besides baguette and Bordeaux.
- Wait until the host seats you before marching into the restaurant and plopping down in a seat near the window.
- If there is a candle on the table, and it is flickering, it is likely a real candle. With a flame.
- Recognize that menus are flammable.
- Do not set your menu on the candle. It may burn.
- If you notice your menu in flames, do not panic. You may cause a scene. Simply blow it out.
- If you blow too hard you will feed the fire. You may want to use water to extinguish the flames.
- When the waiter asks why you blew out the candle on your table, tell him, "No habla Franceis." Do not show him the charred remains of the menu.
- Even though it is not customary to tip in France, generously tip your waiter if you have destroyed his menu.