I AM NOT A BAD LOSER!!!!
I'm, actually, a very good loser. I'm so experienced at losing that I've gotten quite good at it.
But this time the judges got it wrong.
Okay. Technically, I did lose.
But the thing is, I really should have won.
The judges made an egregious error. Not unlike the referees at every Bills - Patriots game since 2000.
Not a Cute Holiday Sweat-shirt Contest.
Please believe me when I tell you that the competition was rather lame. There were many very Cute Holiday Sweaters, one Cute Holiday Sweat-shirt, and my Ugly Holiday Sweater.
I was not even aware that there was a prize for the ugliest holiday sweater that afternoon, when I
(I am quite the seamstress, after all.)
But when I stepped back to examine my masterpiece, I realized that it looked kind of cute.
Like Tiffany's Cute Holiday Sweat-shirt.
So I search the house high and low for some way to make my cute holiday sweater ugly.
When I found my bag of assorted plastic bugs I knew that I'd hit pay dirt. What could be uglier than a cute holiday sweater with bugs crawling all over it?
(Certainly not a Cute Holiday Sweat-shirt.)
And it was not an easy feat sewing those guys on that sweater. Especially the ones with all the legs. Let's just say that there's nothing more frustrating than a tangled mess of insect legs and thread.
(Except, of course, unfairly losing an Ugly Holiday Sweater contest.)
Then I wandered back to Dave, informing him that my sweater was way uglier than Tiffany's Cute Holiday Sweat-shirt. Which is when he called me a bad loser.
"I want a recount," I whispered to him.
But then I looked at Tiffany. She looked so happy in her cute holiday sweatshirt, basking in the glory of having unfairly won the Ugly Holiday Sweater contest with her counterfeit ugly sweater.
I remembered that this is the holiday season. The season of giving.
Merry Christmas, Tiffany.