Friday, August 4, 2017

The M&M

I noticed the red M&M sitting on a glass table during my weekly Market Research team meeting.  

"What is that?" I asked.
"An M&M," Jeff responded.
"Looks deformed," Christine observed.
And we went on with our meeting.

A week later it was still there, but nobody commented.  It remained the next week.  And the next. Then I went on vacation for a week.

"Is that M&M still here?" I asked in today's meeting.  
"Yep," said Jeff.
"I think I'll blog about it."  

I set up a photo shoot soon after the meeting.   Then I moved it to my office.




A little while later our intern, Rob, noticed it on my desk and asked, "What are you going to do with that M&M?"

"I'm going to dissect it.  Tomorrow.  And then eat it."

Based on his reaction you would have sworn it was road kill.  I mean, seriously.  How many germs can possibly be on a deformed red Peanut M&M?

I was assuming it was a peanut M&M.  It was way too big to be a regular M&M. 

But then I realized that it could have been a deformed Peanut Butter M&M!

I overheard Jeff telling Rob that the 5-second rule must not apply to me.  Rather I lived by the 3-month rule. 

Which is entirely untrue.  If, say, a brussel sprout falls to the ground, I will not put that thing in my mouth.  Period.  And if a grape falls on the ground in my kitchen, the 3-second rule would apply.  However, if a Peanut Butter M&M fell on the ground in the Men's room of a Waffle Hut, the 3-month rule would apply.

I returned to my desk and attempted to concentrate on my research analysis.  But that potential Peanut Butter M&M was in my periphery. 

I had planned on inviting Jeff, Christine and Rob to my dissection the next day.  To kind of make a ceremony out of it.  But I couldn't wait.  

I was starving.  And it might be a Peanut Butter M&M.

I went to the break room to find a scalpel knife Samurai sword.



I dissected it.  And it was a damn deformed Peanut M&M. 

I was so disappointed.

But I was also starving. 

So I ate it.  And it tasted like a nasty-ass deformed Peanut M&M.

But I learned a valuable life lesson today.

If it looks like a deformed Peanut M&M, it probably is a deformed Peanut M&M. And it will most definitely taste like a nasty-ass deformed Peanut M&M.   

And the rule for deformed Peanut M&Ms is 1 second.

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