"What is that?" I asked.
"An M&M," Jeff responded.
"Looks deformed," Christine observed.
And we went on with our meeting.
A week later it was still there, but nobody commented. It remained the next week. And the next. Then I went on vacation for a week.
"Is that M&M still here?" I asked in today's meeting.
"Yep," said Jeff.
"I think I'll blog about it."
I set up a photo shoot soon after the meeting. Then I moved it to my office.
A little while later our intern, Rob, noticed it on my desk and asked, "What are you going to do with that M&M?"
"I'm going to dissect it. Tomorrow. And then eat it."
Based on his reaction you would have sworn it was road kill. I mean, seriously. How many germs can possibly be on a deformed red Peanut M&M?
I was assuming it was a peanut M&M. It was way too big to be a regular M&M.
But then I realized that it could have been a deformed Peanut Butter M&M!
I overheard Jeff telling Rob that the 5-second rule must not apply to me. Rather I lived by the 3-month rule.
Which is entirely untrue. If, say, a brussel sprout falls to the ground, I will not put that thing in my mouth. Period. And if a grape falls on the ground in my kitchen, the 3-second rule would apply. However, if a Peanut Butter M&M fell on the ground in the Men's room of a Waffle Hut, the 3-month rule would apply.
I returned to my desk and attempted to concentrate on my research analysis. But that potential Peanut Butter M&M was in my periphery.
I had planned on inviting Jeff, Christine and Rob to my dissection the next day. To kind of make a ceremony out of it. But I couldn't wait.
I was starving. And it might be a Peanut Butter M&M.
I went to the break room to find a
I dissected it. And it was a damn deformed Peanut M&M.
I was so disappointed.
But I was also starving.
So I ate it. And it tasted like a nasty-ass deformed Peanut M&M.
But I learned a valuable life lesson today.
If it looks like a deformed Peanut M&M, it probably is a deformed Peanut M&M. And it will most definitely taste like a nasty-ass deformed Peanut M&M.
And the rule for deformed Peanut M&Ms is 1 second.