Much to my chagrin, poor Kirby has been relegated to the guest room closet.
And Dave keeps buying other vacuums. That last only a year or two.
His latest investment is a Riccar. He was excited because it came with a free hand-held vacuum. Which broke this morning. Already. What a shock.
Being an engineering genius, I decided to fix it.
The first thing I did was plug it in. Who knows? Maybe Dave didn’t think of that.
No luck.
I tried tuning it off and on.
No luck.
Did I give up? Of course not! I set my laptop next to the deceased vacuum and googled, “Riccar SupraQuick won’t turn on”.
And I struck gold at fixya.com.
Apparently you just type a question into the box and connect one-on-one with a technician. I wrote, “My Riccar SupraQuick won’t turn on.” And there was a guy named Vacman waiting to help me!
Vacman wanted to know if I’d be willing to pay $28 for an answer. When I didn’t respond immediately, he messaged me: “I am online right now and ready to work on a customized answer to your question”
What a guy! But no, Vacman. I won’t pay $28.
I wondered if the cost would go down if I changed my question. Besides, Vacman must get really sick of getting the same questions day in and day out.
So I posted: "I think my vacuum cleaner is haunted. Can you help me perform an exorcism?"
Unfortunately, Vacman gave the same response. Would I bill willing to pay $28 for my answer? If he was going to charge $28 to answer the question, I wonder how much he would charge for the exorcism!
He again messaged me, “I am online right now and ready to work on a customized answer to your question.”
I had my doubts. Vacman charged the same for answering a simple question about turning on my vacuum cleaner that he charged for answering a question about exorcising one.
There's no way he was really online ready to work on a customized answer!
Vacman was a fake.
I submitted one last question.
"My husband got a new vacuum cleaner because he never respected my Kirby. He said it was too heavy to haul upstairs. I think it's despicable that he would replace a perfectly fine vacuum cleaner just because she is a bit overweight. And guess what? Now the free hand-held vacuum cleaner that he got with his new, younger, slimmer, Riccar won't turn on. And it wasn't even 1 year old! My Kirby is nearly 20 and it always turns on. Do you have any advice for my marriage?"
And the price went up to $38!
Because it’s way easier to fix a vacuum cleaner than a marriage!
Vacman messaged me, "I am online right now and ready to work on a customized answer to your question."
I'm sorry I doubted you, Vacman.
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