Sunday, April 24, 2016

The Foreign Object

It was a beautiful Friday.  The end of a very long work week.  With nightly rehearsals. 

I was beat.

And ready for a weekend.

As I drove westbound on I-26, I slipped off my shoes, and turned on the soundtrack of The Addams Family.

I had to learn the words to “Move Toward the Darkness”.  I had been fake singing at rehearsal the night before.  And may have been caught.

I relaxed further by resting my left foot on the dashboard to the left of the steering wheel.  

Which is not dangerous when you're as flexible as I am.

I listened.  “Move toward the darkness.  Welcome in your pain.  Let each foreign forest.  Offer you its rain.”

I stopped the CD, rewound and sang along.

I sang perfectly until, Let each foreign object.  Offer you its pain.”  Crap.
Then I noticed the dashboard.  There were two indicator lights on.  OMG! There goes my weekend!!!

But I couldn’t tell what the lights meant.  It wasn’t the tire light.  I knew that one.  Or the door ajar.

How would I ever learn the words to this stupid song if I had to take my car to the dealer???

I called Dave.

“I have 2 indicator lights on my dashboard.”

“Great.  Which ones?”

“I don’t know!  I can’t see without my reading glasses.”  I squinted.  “One looks like a car is skidding and the other is some kind of letters.  ECO.  What’s ECO?”

Dave, whose automotive IQ is possibly lower than mine, had no clue.  We decided that I should drive the car home - carefully - and we’d take it from there.

I played Move Toward the Darkness and attempted, in vain, to learn the lyrics.  Foreign forest.  Foreign forest.  Foreign forest.  

I pulled into the garage singing, “Let each foreign forest.   Offer you its pain.   

No! RAIN!!!!”
I turned off the car and pulled out the 2013 Elantra Owners' manual.  I put on my reading glasses and looked up "Indicators" in the index.  I then turned to page 4-51. 

There it was.   ESC OFF indicator. 

I read the paragraph. To turn off the ECO indicator, push the ESC OFF button which is located to the left of the steering wheel.  Right next to the ECO button.

That I had inadvertently turned on with my foot.

I walked into the house singing, “Let each foreign forest.  Offer you its rain!”

“What?” said Dave.

  I said.  “Just fixed my car.  By myself.”

And I continued.  “Only at our lowest.  Can we rise above.”

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