Refusing to Throw in the Towel!

They made it look so easy!!

And it probably would be if I had 6 hands. But I only have 2. And these 2 hands are having a very difficult time making lizard out of a towel.

Being the nerdling that I am, I purchased a how-to book on towel origami when I was on a Carnival cruise a few years ago. The book looked simple, with step by step instructions for making anything from a scorpion to a sitting elephant. From an iguana to a dinosaur. From a lobster to a parrot.

And since we have company coming for the holidays, I decided to dust off my towel origami book and make a creature to greet my guests.  What a hostess!

I opened the book.  I noticed that every creation starts with a Main Body: A, B or C. The lizard I was making required Body B. I turned to the instructions.

Step 1. Roll tightly each side width-wise to center.

Easier said than done. Rolling a 30-inch wide towel tightly with just 2 hands is physically impossible. I used my chin. I used my knee. I used a bottle of wine and some straight pins.

I was covered in sweat when I finally completed step 1.  And I could have used a glass of wine, but my bottle was otherwise occupied.

Step 2 was a lot easier than step 1, but I had to use my teeth to pull the towel corners out of one of the rolls. I lost a fingernail in step 3 and it didn't look at all like the drawing. In fact it looked like a vagina. Step 4 had me so confused that I decided to abort the mission.

I felt like a failure. I didn't know that you had to be a rocket scientist (with 4 or more hands) to make a towel lizard.

Then I had an epiphany. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to make a lizard out of a towel. You only have to be a rocket scientist to follow the instructions in the towel origami book.

That's when I decided to invent my own towel animals.  I poured a glass of wine and let my creative juices flow.  

I started with the vagina I had folded in Step 3 (of main Body B). I made a head out of a dish cloth, added a do-rag and some antlers. It needed something else. Well, since I didn't need to read my towel origami book any longer, I donated my glasses to the creation.

I'm not exactly sure what species of animal it is, but I believe it's either an amphibian or a mammal.

I know it's a female. It has a vagina.  Isn't she pretty?