Friday, October 22, 2010

My Very Own Dust Mop Slippers

Today I decided to try out Dust Mop Slippers as one of the many services I provide to my readers.   Maybe you're heard of this new, exciting product.  According to the advertising, you can dust your floors simply by walking across them.

"No more kneeling and stooping to clean those out of the way places. Simply slip on these convenient slippers for a clean and sparkling floor. Frees you hands for other chores. Easily clean those out of the way places without kneeling or stooping. A great time saver!"

Wow!  Sounded like an incredible concept!  So I went to our local "Sold only on TV Store" and purchased my very own pair of Dust Mop Slippers.

I'd be lying to you if I told you I shook with excitement when I pulled my Dust Mop Slippers out of the bag. They were actually pretty lame looking. But they were my Dust Mop Slippers. I invested $9.99 in them and I was going to make the most of them.

I put them on and got to work.

Kevin has been shedding like an alpaca recently, so my Dust Mop Slippers had a big job ahead of them. I started slowly. It was not unlike ice skating on newly Zambonied ice. I glided from side to side. As I gained confidence, I moved faster. Next I slid my dust mop toes in all those hard to reach corners of my kitchen. And I scored a ton of dust bunnies.

That is, until Kevin noticed. "Attack the dust mop slippers" is his new favorite game.

Dust mopping with my slippers was certainly more fun than dust mopping with a dust mop. But, I wouldn't call it riveting. To that end, I have developed a scathingly brilliant idea for drastically improving the Dust Mop Slipper user experience. (They don't call me a marketing genius for nothing). If I can find just the right venture capitalist, I will soon be releasing "Dust Mop Slipper 2.0 complete with Dancing while you Dust DVD".

I've got it all planned. Believe me, I would not scrimp on this project. I will hire a professional to develop the Dust Mop Slipper choreography. Of course, with my extensive dance experience, I will most certainly star in the DVD. I will probably ask Tiffany and Cortlin, my stripper sisters from Gypsy, to help out. That way we will be able to demonstrate various levels of dust mop dancing (high, moderate, and low impact). This product will work for all fitness levels.

In all honesty, it will be very difficult, even with the "Dust Mop Slipper 2.0 Dancing while you Dust DVD Set", to corner the market in the recreational dusting category.

Those crafty Japanese have come up with the most incredible dusting concept ever.

Talk about developing a work ethic in your children!   

If only I had thought of this. 

2 comments:

  1. I have just installed iStripper, and now I enjoy having the sexiest virtual strippers on my taskbar.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Get your damn spam off my blog, loser!

    ReplyDelete