Earlier this year I went to a baby shower for my friend Kelly and was amazed at how things had changed since my kids were born 22 and 15 years ago. I didn't know anyone at the shower, except for the mom-to-be, and I was trying very hard to make a good impression (and not embarrass myself).
I first started giggling when Kelly opened the Baby Boppy. Perhaps it was the fact that I was the only person in the room who didn't know what a Baby Boppy was, or maybe it was the name 'Baby Boppy' that stimulated my snorting. I noticed I was the only shower guest who was laughing, so I politely pulled myself together.
I began to lose it again when she opened the next package and pulled out what looked like a miniature version of leg warmers Jennifer Beals wore in the movie Flash Dance. Kelly started gushing, "Oh, I love Baby Legs!" There was uniform agreement in the room "Oh, those Baby Legs are so cute!" "They'll keep his legs so warm!" "Adorable!!"
Call me practical, but I'm thinking those Baby Legs are going to slide down to Baby Ankles when baby begins to crawl. I started to chuckle again.
Then came the Swaddle Me, which is basically a straight-jacket for a newborn. I'm no marketing genius, but I think a Toddler version would be much more valuable. And come to think of it, I'd take out a second mortgage on my home for Teen Swaddle Me. The vision of my teenage daughter trying to text while wrapped in a straight jacked stimulated more snickering.
Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of gifts that made me join in the gushing: adorable outfits, blankets that I wanted to curl up into, the stuffed animals. And I behaved myself completely during the majority of the baby shower.
But It's a darn good thing that nobody got Kelly a Pee-Pee Teepee. Here's how it's advertised.
Why is it that the act of diaper changing always seems to inspire an extra "contribution" from the little one? Parents of baby boys have been particularly vulnerable - until now. Just place a pee-pee teepee on his wee-wee during diaper changes, and the hazard is averted.
That may just have pushed me over the edge.