Wednesday, May 12, 2010

It's Just Wrong!

I went to lunch yesterday at a local restaurant in West Columbia. The menu was quite ordinary, with your typical entrees and side items: cheeseburgers, turkey sandwiches, BLTs, quesadillas, chili. Yes. Really quite ordinary.   Until I got about 2/3 of the way down the menu.
Liver Pudding? That can't be right. Who would make pudding out of Liver?
Say goodbye to my appetite.
I love pudding. I love chocolate pudding. I love butterscotch pudding. I love vanilla, banana, coconut, peanut butter, pistachio and white chocolate pudding. I love all kinds of pudding regardless of whether it’s prepared on the stove, instant pudding or even pull-tab pudding. I love it in a pie shell or in a bowl. With or without whipped cream. 

But I'm certain as the square root of 64 is 8 that I wouldn't like Liver pudding.
It's been 24-hours since the shock and I still cannot get that unsettling menu item off my mind.

There is something seriously wrong with the concept of Liver Pudding. This is 2010. We do not live in a little house on the prairie with Charles Ingalls.

 But I had to rise above it.  I am a nerdling, and with that title comes the responsibility to educate my readers about things such as Liver Pudding. With great discomfort, I researched the recipe for this ‘delicacy’.
I wish I hadn't. 
Basically you cook pork liver along with a ‘thick fatty pork chop on the bone’. Then you grind the meat into submission, season it, press it into a loaf pan and refrigerate for 24 hours until it looks like Spam. 
The recipe didn’t say, but I would recommend that you serve Liver Pudding with Mastadon drippings and mashed turnips. For dessert, try some delicious vinegar pie. Be sure to wash down the meal with a tall glass of ice-cold blood.  (And if you enjoy Liver Pudding you can also try Stewed Jackrabbit & Dumplings.)
Seriously!  It's time to call the Pudding Police. Making pudding out of items found behind the butcher counter should be outlawed. And, in all fairness, serving Mint Chocolate Chip Cheeseburgers should be a misdemeanor.
But if you ever become so bold as to serve Yorkshire pudding with Susan Boyle's face, you are headed straight for death-row!

2 comments:

  1. Now, now ... haven't you ever told your children, "You can't say you don't like it if you haven't tried it"? (P.S. I haven't tried it, so I'm not saying I don't like it)

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  2. Maureen Clyde - the other MClydeMay 12, 2010 at 6:41 PM

    too funny Lou! And the one after that about the speaking engagement - I think we work with the same people. I am scheduling training for my 350 part timers - finally found two dates for them to choose from - the new boss (I didn't invite him to speak) can't make it so for his 5-minutes of saying hello, I have to move heaven and earth! I don't like the word but idiot is the only thing that fits! Thanks for the laugh - love reading your stuff!

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