Cooking a Porcupine

I am always on the lookout for blog topic ideas so you can imagine I was thrilled this morning as I was looking through the index of my Betty Crocker cookbook for the pancake recipe and I came to the following item:

• Porcupines, 29

"Shut the front door!", I said to myself. "A recipe for cooking porcupines in my 1978 edition of the Betty Crocker Cookbook?" Now THAT's what I call a blog topic.

I was running late for my walk with Becca (making pancakes from scratch slowed me down a bit), so I didn't have time to look at the recipe until later that day. But my mind did not stop working.

• Will Betty Crocker tell me how to remove the quills? Will there be another use for them?


• Where does one get porcupine?


• Does it taste like chicken?


• Is porcupine red meat?

I'm not exactly accomplished as a chef. I do best with large, bulleted font. For some reason, my IQ drops in half in the kitchen. I'll look at a recipe, move 1 step to the mixing bowl/chopping block/whatever and, by the time I get there I've forgotten the instruction.

It's hard to believe, but my skills have worsened since I've started using reading glasses. I was making pancakes a couple weeks ago from a mix and the recipe called for 1 egg, 1/2 cup of oil, and 2 cups of milk (or so I thought).

Before I finish this story I must note that I have an uncanny ability to discover that I'm missing an ingredient to a recipe while I'm in the middle of preparing the food....EVEN IF I'VE JUST RETURNED FROM THE GROCERY STORE TO PURCHASE THE INGREDIENTS FOR THE RECIPE.

Back to the pancakes. I poured the milk into the measuring cup and saw that I only had about 1 3/4 cups of milk. Being the creative genius that I am, I added 1/4 cup of water to the measuring cup, silently commending myself for reducing the fat content of this breakfast.

I'm not sure why decided to put my reading glasses on, but when I did I quickly noticed that the recipe called for 2 cups of MIX, not MILK. Crap. But being the creative, cheapskate that I am, I poured the diluted milk back into the carton, silently commending myself for making skim milk, and reducing the fat content of a future breakfast of cereal.

I digress. Back to the recipe for porcupine. When I returned from my walk, I went right for the cookbook. I turned to page 29 to review the porcupine recipe. I read the recipe once. I read it again. Are you kidding me? The recipe for Porcupine does not include porcupine.

I feel cheated.

But then again, would I really want to know how to cook porcupine?

And besides...I'd probably hurt myself trying.