I don't care.
So what if door stops in my house are completely extraneous. I want one anyway.
Nobody can really tell if a door is pushing back, right?
It can be our little secret.
But I don't want the drab, dreary, old-fashoned doorstop. You know the kind. The right triangular shaped doorstop made from rubber or wood.
(Do you like the way I introduced an element of geometry into this blog? Remember. This is not just any blog. It's an educational experience.)
So many door stops. So little time. How could I possibly choose one?
As you might expect, I'm particularly drawn to the Wicked Witch Door Stop. No surprise considering my starring role in the Wizard of Oz, where I was solely responsible for lying underneath Dorothy's house and removing the Wicked Witch of the East's legs on cue.
I mean, talk about a high pressure role! One can only imagine the disaster that would ensue, had I not demonstrated such nano-precision timing in pulling on those witch legs before her evil sister was able to snatch the ruby slippers.
But then again, I'm also very attracted to this adorable Dead Guy With A Bleeding Head door stop. Wait. I'm not sure he's dead! Head wounds bleed far more than wounds in other parts of your body. (It's because your head has more blood vessels. You're welcome.)
But my favorite door stop of all is the Pop Weasel Door Wedge. Pop's eye pops out when he's holding a door open. He comes from the road kill toy collection available at www.roadkilltoys.com. And the best thing is the Pop Weasel comes with a death certificate and an "I Love Roadkill" bumper sticker.
Those are 3 very viable choices for door stops. But you know what? I've been inspired.
Yes. I would like to introduce the most exciting door stop product of all times; one obstensibly absent from the door stop market.
Indeed. Rollerblade Barbie Door Stop should sell millions.
If I could just figure out how to lock her skates.